Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
