I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
