Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
