Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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