Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize