her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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