Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
