bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
