So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
