did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
