Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
