No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
