and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
