remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
