so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
