if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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