i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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