def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize