Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
