Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
