is your mom at the bar?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
True strength comes from lack of pants
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