I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Randomize