Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize