I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Success! We fucked roommates!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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