I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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