New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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