I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
