I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
