took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
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