what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
