I met the friendliest cop last night
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
