Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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