I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
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