I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
