omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
