the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
