They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
