Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
