Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
