Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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