Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
