I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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