those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
