She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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