We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
