There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Randomize
