I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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