What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
