fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
