I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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