the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
