I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
