I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's official drugs can't kill me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
