what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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