I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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