Having a random hookup so left but love u
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize