I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
