how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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