is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
