Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize